Painfully ordinary & perfectly forgiven.

Today I’m choosing to focus on the positive and find my happy place again.

I know that my story is important. I really am a constant ball of emotions. Sad, but true. I wish I was someone who knew how to filter negativity without letting it affect me. It’s a part of my life where I have do much growing to do. My problem is that when I’m good, I’m great. And when I feel defeated…..I’m basically worthless for weeks.

I blog to share who I am, but this is not my journal. I don’t post every single detail of my life. And I think that’s ok. This is my way of relating to others or providing encouragement through things I’ve dealt with and roads I’ve walked down. I don’t offer just stories to make my life appear perfect, and I never will. Because its the messy stuff in my marriage and day to day living that make me who I am. I’m far from a perfect Christian. I’m far from a perfect mom. I’m far from a perfect wife. And I pray that I never portray myself as thinking that I am. I’m painfully ordinary and perfectly forgiven. And I’m so thankful for that.

I’ve been in a major funk this past month. I’m sure everyone can relate in some way or another. I’ve been having a hard time shaking this one though. I go through phases of feeling so confident in what I’m doing and who I am. There are times where I can really feel God moving and working in everything I do. And then in one word or comment or look or status or blah blah blah……I let Satan sneak in and take hold again. I physically feel the anxiety he brings into my life all because I start listening to the lies he whispers…”you’re not good enough, you’re not making a difference, who are you to write this?” the list goes on and on. But those are just that, LIES!

I’m not here to give advice like I know everything. But I do know the things that work and don’t work in my life. It’s not fake. It’s not forced. It’s just me talking about things that matter to me. Things that affect me. Things that change me. And things that make me a better version of me. Writing does that for me. Taking pictures does that for me. It makes me better. I’m not asking for everyone to love what I do, what I write, or how I live. I’m just painfully ordinary, perfectly forgiven, and getting back to my happy place! 🙂

Adopt the pace of nature…

Patience.

1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.

3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.

My last week has literally been one giant ball of ridiculous emotional states, tears, crazy rants, and basically mommy tantrums. You know those days where you feel like you’re fighting everything just to make it to bedtime? I had about 10 of those in a row before I finally snapped out of it. How did I manage to snap out of it might you ask???

My loving and oh so understanding husband told me I either had to, or I wasn’t invited to Easter with MY side of the family. HAHAHA yes….that actually happened. So Sunday morning we got up and we hiked. We took our dogs and threw the baby in the stroller and hiked up to one of the most breathtaking sites in our valley.

(This was a picture I snapped right as we started the hike)

I’ve said it before, but there is something about having fresh air, beautiful weather, and my camera that leaves me absolutely complete. It is the best way for me to clear my head and get my patience back. It almost immediately eases any anxiety or worry. It is my xanax in a sense 😉

Every single one us would be lying if we said we didn’t have days that make up want to hide away from the world. I have them quite frequently and have been doing my best to get out those “funks” quicker and quicker. I’ve been finding more and more that when I stop stressing about my house and laundry and whats for dinner and take the time to go outside and enjoy the fresh air, spend time with the kids without my face in front of my phone or the computer, and really rest in the beauty of nature, I am refreshed! So try it out this week…..

When you’re up to your eyeballs in dirty dishes. When you start having double vision from staring at a computer screen. Go outside. Walk. Even if it’s just to the mailbox. Breathe in some fresh air and see how much it helps.